I should be glad but I am sad……..

Posted: December 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

Maybe today is the wrong day to write a post.  Yeah in the future…. in hindsight I will know it was a bad day to write a post.  I physically am wiped today, emotionally am hurt and all together feel like the world is crashing down on me.  Meh, typical December for me.  Usually this falls closer to the end of the month but hey I am all for throwing a curve ball once and a while.

I won’t go into to too many details as to why December is bad for me.  Lets just say that burying a son, spending Christmas day in the hospital and losing a very special woman at Christmas makes it a hard time for me.  This year has been especially in upheaval because I am sooooooo not prepared for Christmas.  Next to no presents bought and no time to get it going.  ON top of that throw in an extra hockey tourney and there goes a lot of money that would have gone into the season.  Thankfully my boys, to an extent, have been awesome at understanding that they might get gift cards at the last minute instead of physical gifts and the two oldest have jobs this year so they will add to the pile at the bottom of our as of yet non existant tree.

I probably shouldn’t even post this blog….. I should just keep it inside with the pain that my back and shoulders are feeling today as well as my emotions because of once again being told I am sorry but your name is not on the list…… not going into it but that one cuts like a knife today…..anyway I started out thinking I would post a yay…. won another cool contest from an awesome ladies blog and added to my amazon gift cards but I just can’t associate any names or others in my self pity party post today.  Sorry to those couple of people that will get this email that follow me.  Even those I consider my friends on facebook and twitter are not even concerned about this blog so why should I worry there are only you handful…. yes single handful of people that I appreciate more than you know that this will annoy.  Sorry again but I have to vent off some steam.  Trying to get into review mode but with aches and heartbreak infuencing my vision, and the tears that won’t shut off, they might not be my best effort.

Sorry again ……. the pity party will hopefully end soon.

Shell

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Comments
  1. yelenacasale says:

    I’m so sorry that you’re not feeling well this month. Sometimes it’s really good to write it out and put it out to the world. {{{Hugs}}}
    Hope you start feeling better soon!

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